Monday, October 25, 2004

The start of a new week

A lot has happened lately. I was overwhelmed with tasks in my life. So overwhelmed that I began to have anxiety attacks. When these attacks took place I knew I was in over my head. The amount of things I needed to do was too much. My chances for ministry started to slip away and it felt like i was loosing a good part of me. Last Thursday I decided to drop one of my ASU classes and it was the best thing I could have ever done. Immediately I felt at peace and coming into the weekend i was free. I could breath again. Had our intensive for the VLI course this weekend, over 12 hours of lecture, Wow!! The guys who went through it with me, good job. :) This weekend was a weekend of rest, and I desperately needed it. It was beautiful. Not a wholesome rest however, Friday while playing our first game of league soccer through grace's college group's team, five minutes into the game i break two bones in my foot. at the time had no idea they were broken, thought it was just a connective tissue tear. So i have had to hobble around now and noticing that it takes me twice as long to do things. It is neat though because I feel an awesome peace from God. I know it is due to the prayers from this past weekend. I am praying that no matter what is thrown in my way that i would be able to hold on to God and trust that he is going to pull me through. This past month was horrible but I have joy because my father helped me and i am starting to experience his peace and joy amist the struggle.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Ok hearing from god once again

Wow, that definately was not fun. The past couple days has been very stressful and I mentioned last that I was thinking about stopping school or at least stopping the amount of classes. After some talking and praying and sleeping, I know I should finish. I know that the past couple days I have been attacked with anxiety. I was being lied to that I cannot handle all that is on my plate. I just need to be ok with being busy and not thinking that it is bad. Deep in my heart I want to give all that I do 100%. I just want to be able to do that for the youth ministry, for my job, for my school, and for my family. Right now what it is going to require is not alot of "me" time. Social outings have to be less than what I want, and I have to accept that my weekends are when I am going to be working "studying" extra hard. So please keep me in your prayers, and pray especially that I keep focused on God and am accepting his peace daily. Right now I am faced with a battle between lies and truth and between turmoil and peace. Pray that I choose to battle with courage. Here is a little side note: that was conformation about my decision by what was commented when the last post came up. thx.