Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Prayer

Father,

thank you for another wonderful early morning. I give you
my heart today. I ask for your spirit to come and fill me
up so that I can remain in you. I ask for your strength,
peace, comfort, stability, no matter what comes at me today.

Father the passages that come to mind are the end of Romans in
relation to the armor of God. Cover me father. Equip me.

I ask for a working attitude especially since we will be
really busy this morning. I pray for a servants attitude.
I ask that your love would overtake me right now. Reveal
what I should do today. Help me be your heart, mind, and words
to these people at work today. I ask that I would have an ear
for you. Sensitize me to the world that you see. Guide me father
today.

I ask that you would be in my attitude, help me have a fighting
spirit. Against insecurity, anxiety, any type of sin. Replace these
things with your secure love, trust, and righteousness.

Lord I am your child and you have a plan for me today. Use me
I ask for peace no matter what comes my way.

People praying for:
1. Family- Lord bring healing to the family, spiritually and physically
2. People at work- God bring salvation to my co-workers, reveal yourself to them
3. Home group- Be with every single member of our group, be their encouragement, strength, bring healing to sickness, reveal more of your love and presence to them.
4. Leaders- Ask that our state and federal government/political leaders would make the right decisions. I ask that they would make decisions that are backed up by you. Protect our leaders from the influence of the enemy.
5. Our church-Lord continue to work through our church and other churches nationally. Help us to break away from our religious spirits. Help us to be guided by you. Thank you for the things you are doing at vineyard, continue to be with leadership there. Amen

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Encouragement

Little jewels today

-"If you are going to like yourself,
if you are going to succeed at being
yourself, you are going to have to
focus on your potential-What God has
created you to be- not on limitations"-

-"God does things in our lives when He
knows we are truly ready. Set high
goals, but let your focus be on doing
the very best you can where you are,
knowing that if and when God wants to
promote you, He is certainly well able
to do so"- Joyce Meyer

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Good morning

Greatful for the start of another day, woke up really
good today. I actually woke up to a soothing song, I
figured out how to set the CD player as an alarm. Very
nice, it inspired the title and first couople words
of another song.
I actually was able to write a poem/song about Beauty
yesterday. I've been encouraged lately in thes areas
which is great.

Things on my heart to keep in prayer

-getting closer to God
-contentment
-home group
-family's healing
-Co-workers
-guitar/singing improvement (creativity)

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Its been Tough

In a way this is letting everyone know what has been going on in my life but it is more of a way to vent out to God how I am feeling. A lot of struggles the past 2 to 3 months. Spiritually I am not there. It is very weird though that God has been using me more than ever before at work and through this small group that I am leading on Friday nights. There have been people greatly blessed by my listening ears, prayers, encouragement, my presence.
But when it comes to my relationship with God, I am not hearing him for me. I am praying in the mornings with my Dad (we carpool to work). But still I don't feel his love. Very unhappy right now. I am trying to fill this void with being with more people but it is not cutting it. I know that man is going to fail us sometimes and God will not but I still keep running to man.
It is so hard for me to sit before the Lord and wait, the mornings are too early to seek him because I am not awake, and in the afternoons because of being down I have been exhausted, a form of depression. Not good. I am so impatient right now when it comes to the things that I don't have.

-Helpmate-
-Career-completion of school
-Out of the parents house-
-money-
-healing of various sins

I have been trying to control my life too much. Way too much effort on my part, getting tired.
One thing that has been very frustrating is that I have a heart for worshiping through music, and want to lead others into worship.
I am currently taking guitar lessons and it has been the most difficult thing right now because God right now is not in it. Very frustrating. I think this is an attempt of the enemy to keep me from progressing, using my gifts, and hearing Gods voice for writing songs. It has not been enjoyable. I'll will admit it. I have temporarily lost the heart of worship.

I am so stuck right now.
God I need a touch from you. A transforming, healing touch. I am not hearing that you love me, and that everything is going to work out. I am getting discouraged that I don't have what it takes to write worship songs for you and share them with others. I don't feel like I have the discipline to seek you, develop guitar skills, have emotionally consistent weeks, consistently keep my body healthy. I have been on a roller coaster ride too long. I'm tired

I need you Lord,
I need to hear you,
I want your peace, joy, excitement
help me Lord