BodyByChrist

2007-01-20T17:57:00.000-08:00

Invisible

Bm7 A G
Oh God oh God,
Bm7 A G
In a room filled with others, standing next to me

Bm7 A G
Oh God oh God,

Bm7 A G
some familiar others distant to the likings of me

D A G
But what hurts the most is standing in a known
crowd but not being noticed
D A
It just breaks my heart
G
to be right there

but at the same time others are unaware

Bm7
I show my face, but nobody sees me
I am erased by others close to my heart

Ideas: stepping in stepping out, like the tide, and noby stops
and sees the beauty that it is.

Ideas for this song came from a friend of mine while we
were hanging out.

2007-01-20T17:53:00.000-08:00

out of place in a unfamiliar space with others
as comfortable as their home.

I tried to fit in but something just didn't
let me in, never settled as I go.

My heart tells me this,
this is nothing to miss,
emptiness, many cannot see.

to be continued....

see me

2006-11-30T14:10:00.003-08:00

Dirty and unclean
Jesus please wash me
from all wrong that I do

Free once again
I know that you can
I want to serve you

This world all it offers
me is selfishness and misery
I don't know why
I keep running to

A life that is very hard
without you I can't go
on living the way
I want to

Here I am,
Here I am
again
tear me apart

On the knees I am
On the knees I am
again
I hope that your listenin

I thought this was interesting

2006-10-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

The Danger of Postmodernism
Making the Gospel about Us
by Esther Jing-Hua Wu

In an attempt to be culturally relevant and seeker friendly, the youth ministry team asked our youth worship band to play songs from Lifehouse, Linkin Park, Creed, and other popular bands. We thought we were being delightfully postmodern and experiential, not to mention, cool. "What a great way to spread the gospel!" we thought. "Use songs that are popular with teens, whose lyrics allude to a spiritual theme to draw them into worship—perfect." We were convinced that our kids would experience God more powerfully in this new, nontraditional worship environment.

It turns out that our students dreaded singing these songs. They complained that the songs weren't worshipful and insisted that they couldn't connect with God through them.

When I asked the youth band to go back to the contemporary praise and worship choruses typical of the adult service, the transformation amazed me. The songs that proclaimed God's holiness and character where the ones that drew our kids into the presence of the holy. What is it about repeatedly singing "You are holy" that draws a postmodern teen into the presence of Christ?

Our students are hungry for spiritual food that will satisfy. They're hungry for what's real in Jesus Christ. The danger of postmodern Christianity is that we become so focused on making God culturally relevant, hip, cool, and fun, that we run the risk of making the gospel about us—our experiences, our relationships, our needs, our worship preferences, our lives. When this happens we lose our awe of God's holiness. If we spend so much time relating to God as personal friend, we lose sight of the holiness of the God who inspires fear, wonder, worship, and beauty all at once. When that happens, our proclamation of the gospel tips dangerously towards self-centeredness and our experience of God; and the way we want to connect with the holy becomes more important than God himself.

The postmodern emphasis on experience, presentation, and narrative has enhanced our faith richly in many ways. However, experience and narrative are by no means the beginning or ending points of our faith in Christ. God's holiness is. Of course, we'll experience God in tangible ways that shape our lives and increase our Christ-likeness tremendously, but our experience is ultimately not the anchor of our faith.

We can never create an experience of God's holiness, because that's something that comes from revelation. God alone makes this revelation possible. How can we pursue God's holiness practically? Today's church should bolster her understanding of God's holiness. We're in danger of making the experience, new language, multimedia presentations, or liturgy the centerpiece of our faith. And the result is an experience-based faith instead of one that is holiness-based. Ultimately, this kind of faith will crumble. Our calling as followers of Jesus is to ground our faith in his God-ness, which rests outside our experience. In terms of youth ministry, we should be careful not to overemphasize the experience of church to our students, while inadvertently de-emphasizing God's holiness.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Esther Jing-Hua Wu is the youth pastor at Vineyard Christian Fellowship of the Peninsula in Palo Alto, Calif.

Sick and Behind

2006-10-06T12:42:00.000-07:00

There is nothing worse than being sick and getting behind. I had the privelage of getting the stomach flu and having to miss three days of life!!! Whenever I get sick I always think "why do we get sick!!??" It is never fun to be sick. I think something can be learned from being down and out though. I am learning that I need to run to him no matter how bad I feel. Over the course of my life I have fallen in the habit of watching a rediculous amount of t.v. when I am not feeling good. And every single stinking time I think I feel worse when I do. After a couple of days of being bored out of my mind I decided to turn the dirty thing off. Finally, I was able to rest and actually slept better. Go figure. But really though, God wants us no matter how we are feeling. I can respect that. :)

thank you Lord for your healing.

Awesome

2006-09-27T08:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, so since the last post I have been able to do some surrendering. God is so patient and merciful. Not that he needs to be reminded, its me that needs to be reminded to run to him more. This weekend and the start of this week I am surrendering the ever so struggle of school and the questions of my future. The things that I am hearing from God is to follow what I have a passion for and trust that God will take care of me in regards to financial concerns, occupation and ministry concerns. I can say this morning that I am able to trust him a little more, the pressures of getting good grades are off my shoulders, (I was too consumed). Because I am not paranoid about school more things have opened up. For example this weekend after church David K. and I took 3 of our teens out to native new Yorker and we watched some football together while grubbing. And from there I asked if they would be interested in getting together during the early part of the week to do schoolwork together. We started that last night and it ended up being myself and one other teen. We worked on our school for about an hour and a half, chatting inbetween and then afterwards I used our spare time to share life with him. Talked about things that God has been doing in my life and used that as encouragement for him.
I am so excited for what God is going to do. I have been saying I wanted to do this for so long but never took any action. I really felt the spirit of god during and after we met last night. Even was able to pray for him and the rest of his week. I know God is going to use this to draw more guys in so that we can encourage each other and be Jesus to our peers, co-workers and all that we encounter in our lives.

thank you Jesus for being so faithful, I ask that you would
continue to speak, guide and move.

Inspiration

2006-09-17T07:58:00.000-07:00

Ok I am not going to lie. This past week has not been the easiest. Spiritually there has not been a whole lot going on. It seems as if all I'm doing is soccer and school, and God is not the center. I know God is still with me but I am not running to him. It's because I am letting the stresses of school and soccer get to me. My response to this stress has not been to surrender.
But again I recognize this is going on and from this point its time to keep God in the center.

School is going pretty well. It still is very time consuming especially trying to tackle these sciences that involve (trig. and algebra) which I have not taken in like 6 years!!! This is a setback because I have to work extra hard to remember how to do the math of it yet alone the science. But I am not quitting (have done it in the recent past). There is an understanding now, and I am starting to enjoy studying. ;)

Soccer has been challenging as well. In highschool I struggled with confidence issues and it was very hard playing soccer with this mentality. I would play scared. Afraid to make a mistake, afraid to hurt a little making it hard to have fun.
I am in the middle of battling all of these fears again. It has been very good, but hard. But I am excited because I am not quitting and I see myself growing in this area as well.

God is so good at continuing to give us opportunities to become more mature. Going into this semester I knew I was going to be going through what I'm going through. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it most definitely is shaping my character. My prayer for next week is to

1. Connect intimately (Put God first above all)
2. Keep a servants heart (away from a selfish mentality)
3. Work hard (in school, soccer) persistence!!!
4. Keep praying for the youth (at Gilbert/of this world)
5. Connect with a couple youth next week. ( "B", "D", )

This is the Story

2006-09-01T07:59:00.000-07:00

One thing I have not shared to some. I have both earned and have been blessed to be honored the co-captain position for the Mesa Community College Thunderbird men's
soccer team. The story starts out like this....

The plan was to finish some pre-physical therapy science classes for the 2006-2007 school year. Soccer was not in the front of my mind. I remember thinking about 2 years ago that it would be cool to be eligible to play, but then there was no time. I was both working, going to school, helping out with the youth. Deep down though I wanted a second change. My first year of college in 2001 I was going to try to walk on at the Chandler/Gilbert community college for soccer. But after the first two weeks during the summer before tryouts I chickened out. I was carrying the fear of not being able to handle both full time school and soccer. So I QUIT!!! And that has been a pattern in my life that I still am trying to be healed from. Of course when you back out of something because of fear you regret it and wish that you can get a second chance. Well after 5 years, I got a second chance. It started by talking to my brother about signing up for classes at MCC. I also in the meantime had been saving up money since January of 2006. When thinking about signing up for classes I had a little thought, what if I tried to walk on the team? I could use the money I saved up for the 3 months of the season and work again afterwards.

One thing I didn't mention though was that I tried to get a tryout with the Chandler/Gilbert Soccer team. However, Classes didn't line up and I wasn't able to get my physics class (it just wasn't available). I also had a prophetic dream the night before I tried to work out my school schedule with the soccer schedule. In this dream, it didn't work out. So after this I thought this idea of playing for 1 semester was dead. But it wasn't. So where was I.....

Oh so classes worked out perfectly through MCC. And the ease of things started revealing itself. The day after things not working out at CGCC, I contacted the "new" coach via cell phone (who was in N. Carolina at the time). And at first he said that I probably wouldn't be eligible due to my many years of college. He wasn't going to come back for a couple weeks but the team already were practicing and playing in the mornings at the school. He connected me with them, and I knew my job was to see if I was eligible. It turned out that I was and so I started playing with the guys in the morning. 2 weeks later the head coach comes back and we are into tryouts, and I haven't quit yet. Had tempting thoughts to back out but I knew this was something I needed to help me with my fear and confidence. The week of tryouts happen and the coach is happy with what he see's, and I get a spot on the team. Not only a spot but was recognized as one of two teammates to received a small scholarship, and the co-captain position. Very blessed, thank you Lord for second chances.

But it has been challenging, a lot of old issues has risen. Confidence in myself, fear of making a mistake, silly stuff like that, oh and dealing with teamates who are hard to get along with. But I know God is going to give me victory otherwise I wouldn't have been given a second chance.

Go MCC!!!!

Important to accept

2006-08-19T13:55:00.000-07:00

This morning I had a chance to meditate on some thoughts from last night. When it comes to people, God has given us the responsibility of accepting people where they are. I mean accepting by understanding where their relationship or lack of relationship with the Lord is. It is not our job to look at what they are not and
put ourselves higher. I don't think Jesus did that. He met people where ever they were at and he loved them. Listened to them, spent time with them, and enjoyed their company all the while not compromising his actions. He led by an example of love.
I really want to be able to love like that. The first step is to accept Jesus love for myself, and I mean to really understand and experience his love.

Jesus help me to accept your love so I have a better understanding. I want to be
more like you Jesus. Life is more enjoyable when I am connected with you. Jesus come. Bible Verse Of The Day
Saturday, August 19, 2006

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

— John 13:34-35 —
"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

On a journey searching for victory

2006-08-17T12:14:00.000-07:00

Ok so it has been a really long time since I have been on blogger, but hey, remember ecclesiastes and the seasons (or times for things) ;). Many things have happened since the last time I have been on here. In this point in time, God is continuing to craft something out of me. To be more specific he is trying to help me be rid of my perfectionist mentality and my lack of confidence. There is quite a bit of fear of not being good enough and failing. To tackle this I have listed some things that I think God would want me to pursue.

1. Pray for healing
2. Seek counsel
3. Practice positive thinking
4. Read books on how others have received victory
5. Unselfish mentality, continue to have a servants heart

Here are some bible verses that I am pulling from Joyce Meyers book titled....
HOW TO SUCCEED AT BEING YOURSELF

May Christ through your faith
dwell in your hearts! May you be
rooted deep in love and founded
securely on love, that you may
have the power and be strong to apprehend
and grasp with all the saints what is the
breadth and length and height and depth. Eph 3:17,18

God Restores our soul-Psalm 23:1,3

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear 1 John 4:18

And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it
was very good and He approved it completely. And there
was evening and there was morning, a sixth day. Genesis 1:31

For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves
and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and
welcomes to His heart and cherishes. Heb 12:6

For I am persuaded beyond doubt that neither death nor life, nor
angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening
nor things to come, nor powers, Nor height nor depth, nor anything
else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of
God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38,39

Prayer

2006-04-26T04:56:00.000-07:00

Father,

thank you for another wonderful early morning. I give you
my heart today. I ask for your spirit to come and fill me
up so that I can remain in you. I ask for your strength,
peace, comfort, stability, no matter what comes at me today.

Father the passages that come to mind are the end of Romans in
relation to the armor of God. Cover me father. Equip me.

I ask for a working attitude especially since we will be
really busy this morning. I pray for a servants attitude.
I ask that your love would overtake me right now. Reveal
what I should do today. Help me be your heart, mind, and words
to these people at work today. I ask that I would have an ear
for you. Sensitize me to the world that you see. Guide me father
today.

I ask that you would be in my attitude, help me have a fighting
spirit. Against insecurity, anxiety, any type of sin. Replace these
things with your secure love, trust, and righteousness.

Lord I am your child and you have a plan for me today. Use me
I ask for peace no matter what comes my way.

People praying for:
1. Family- Lord bring healing to the family, spiritually and physically
2. People at work- God bring salvation to my co-workers, reveal yourself to them
3. Home group- Be with every single member of our group, be their encouragement, strength, bring healing to sickness, reveal more of your love and presence to them.
4. Leaders- Ask that our state and federal government/political leaders would make the right decisions. I ask that they would make decisions that are backed up by you. Protect our leaders from the influence of the enemy.
5. Our church-Lord continue to work through our church and other churches nationally. Help us to break away from our religious spirits. Help us to be guided by you. Thank you for the things you are doing at vineyard, continue to be with leadership there. Amen

Encouragement

2006-04-25T04:55:00.000-07:00

Little jewels today

-"If you are going to like yourself,
if you are going to succeed at being
yourself, you are going to have to
focus on your potential-What God has
created you to be- not on limitations"-

-"God does things in our lives when He
knows we are truly ready. Set high
goals, but let your focus be on doing
the very best you can where you are,
knowing that if and when God wants to
promote you, He is certainly well able
to do so"- Joyce Meyer

Good morning

2006-04-13T04:43:00.000-07:00

Greatful for the start of another day, woke up really
good today. I actually woke up to a soothing song, I
figured out how to set the CD player as an alarm. Very
nice, it inspired the title and first couople words
of another song.
I actually was able to write a poem/song about Beauty
yesterday. I've been encouraged lately in thes areas
which is great.

Things on my heart to keep in prayer

-getting closer to God
-contentment
-home group
-family's healing
-Co-workers
-guitar/singing improvement (creativity)

Its been Tough

2006-04-11T21:41:00.000-07:00

In a way this is letting everyone know what has been going on in my life but it is more of a way to vent out to God how I am feeling. A lot of struggles the past 2 to 3 months. Spiritually I am not there. It is very weird though that God has been using me more than ever before at work and through this small group that I am leading on Friday nights. There have been people greatly blessed by my listening ears, prayers, encouragement, my presence.
But when it comes to my relationship with God, I am not hearing him for me. I am praying in the mornings with my Dad (we carpool to work). But still I don't feel his love. Very unhappy right now. I am trying to fill this void with being with more people but it is not cutting it. I know that man is going to fail us sometimes and God will not but I still keep running to man.
It is so hard for me to sit before the Lord and wait, the mornings are too early to seek him because I am not awake, and in the afternoons because of being down I have been exhausted, a form of depression. Not good. I am so impatient right now when it comes to the things that I don't have.

-Helpmate-
-Career-completion of school
-Out of the parents house-
-money-
-healing of various sins

I have been trying to control my life too much. Way too much effort on my part, getting tired.
One thing that has been very frustrating is that I have a heart for worshiping through music, and want to lead others into worship.
I am currently taking guitar lessons and it has been the most difficult thing right now because God right now is not in it. Very frustrating. I think this is an attempt of the enemy to keep me from progressing, using my gifts, and hearing Gods voice for writing songs. It has not been enjoyable. I'll will admit it. I have temporarily lost the heart of worship.

I am so stuck right now.
God I need a touch from you. A transforming, healing touch. I am not hearing that you love me, and that everything is going to work out. I am getting discouraged that I don't have what it takes to write worship songs for you and share them with others. I don't feel like I have the discipline to seek you, develop guitar skills, have emotionally consistent weeks, consistently keep my body healthy. I have been on a roller coaster ride too long. I'm tired

I need you Lord,
I need to hear you,
I want your peace, joy, excitement
help me Lord

Fun after the Rain!!

2006-03-12T12:58:00.000-08:00

Today Dreke, Cela and I played in the created pond in our neighborhood. A little hesitant at first due to not knowing if it was going to be cold. Did it anyways and had a lot of fun. This pic is my favorite out of the couple taken by Cela. Thank you Lord for the much needed rain and for time to enjoy days like yesterday and today.

Good ol Saturday

2006-03-11T12:55:00.000-08:00

I am so happy that when I woke up this morning, I noticed it overcast and WET!! It has been too long without moisture. Thank you Lord.

Ok an update for the past several days. Work is continuing to get better. God is teaching me how to relax at work. He is showing me that it is ok not to know much at all. As a Physical Therapy Tech. I have so much to learn, especially under the Physical Therapist who know so much more than I do. It ended up being pretty stressful, because of my own expectations of thinking I need to know this stuff. What has helped is little comments from my boss like "I don't expect you to know all of this." But I am so fortunate that I am in a non threatening environment where learning is encouraged. Its funny because they don't have high expectations for me which is nice. They only expectations is for me to work hard, try my best and continue to learn.

My dad and I have been carpooling at 5:30 in the morning and it has been great. An awesome time of prayer and talk. Not to mention saving a ton of money on gas!

During our home group last night we had the opportunity to help some new neighbors of a girl in our group. (apartment) Two guys were moving in late at night, and our whole group (about 8) helped them move in really quickly. I have been desiring to be in the world more instead of in my own "Christian bubble". A step in the right direction.

Lastly, it has been interesting how God is bringing old relationships to fruition. And right now they are all girls. Friends and acquaintances from my past have been popping up left and right and it has been neat to catch up on life.

I look back and my life has changed tremendously. It makes me feel good that God is continuing to mold me and change my life inside out.

Lord continue to do your work in me, help me not miss you.

Guide me father

Amen

Great weekend

2006-02-26T14:19:00.000-08:00

This weekend was exactly what I was hoping it would be."layed back." There was nothing sudo spiritual going on at the men's retreat this weekend. I just wanted to get away. The teachings were good, made me think and assess my life right now. Here are some things that I know I will be allowing God to work in me...

- time with him
- guitar practice
- contentment in my current life situation
- a more disciplined lifestyle. Not based on solely just my efforts but in communion with his guidance.

The highlight this weekend was just hanging with the guys. I have been around a lot of girls and it was a nice change. It really made me value the friendships I have through Gilbert vineyard.

The most amazing thing is that in all of our conversation we were naturally challenging each others beliefs, questioning different viewpoints and overall just building each other up through our questions and experiences.

It was a very enjoyable time.
Oh yeah and for the brothers, we learned how to "stick it out"!!!! :)

Tim and I

2006-02-22T22:08:00.000-08:00

Me

2006-02-22T22:05:00.000-08:00

Family and friends

2006-02-22T22:02:00.000-08:00

Good morning

2006-01-31T03:34:00.000-08:00

Good morning.

Waking up at 4 in the morning is an interesting thing. Quiet times in the morning though are wonderful. I am getting up 20minutes before to read the word and pray. I found that not spending time with God in the morning actually makes me a little more tired than when I do. I woke up a little heavier today when compared to monday morning. But I still made the effort of having my quiet time.
So, God is so good and he is showing me how to enjoy this life. Currently I am reading Ecclesiastes and Supposively Solomon mentions that everything in this life is meaningless except God. All of our work, concerns, efforts will eventually reach the end. The end is the same for the rich/poor, wise/foolish.
This really puts in perspective the whole pursuit of knowledge. I have at times wanted to become full of knowledge, but God keeps reminding me that he is the most important. So I am encouraged to continue to seek his face.
Work is great. We have an awesome group of staff that really care for our patients. I want to start praying for these patients more. Starting out by just remembering to speak words of healing over them in my head. I don't know how effective that will be. I don't remember if the Bible or God has mentioned the difference between speaking it out loud versus in your head. "in terms of what is more effective". So today I am going to try that.
I need to go.
Lord be with me today. I love you so much. Give me the strength, opened mind and the energy to do your will today. Show me your will, your ways and your truth. Amen

No more sickness

2005-12-23T23:57:00.000-08:00

I have been sick for almost 2 weeks now. and several times I have said "enough is enough!!!" Spiritually I still haven't been very connected. That needs to change. Thanks to some good friends I have been encouraged to press on and to seek God. He is the only one who can deliver from bondage, from sickness from toil. I miss living the adventure of "life". I have tried to create my own adventure and to be honest I do a horrible job in making my life exciting. "ok, God I am ready to live your story" "but I need you to nararate" I think I am ready to start living a more full life again.

Finished but now what?

2005-12-08T14:11:00.000-08:00

Ok, I just finished my last project to graduate with a Bachelor of Science in Exercise and Wellness. Doors opened up to be placed in a job where I am coordinating and teaching youth fitness classes. Right now I am in the middle of a time where I have time!!! And so far I am not utilizing it the way I should. I watched at least 6 hours of t.v yesterday. Yuuuckkk!!! I can't believe it. So I decided to do without it for a while. Pray for me. That thing is really addicting. What I need to be doing is re-energizing myself spiritually and also through study. But I feel so stinking lazy. Again pray for me. What I really need to do is learn how to relax in a healthy way, the way God would want me to rest. Rest in him. That is my quest.

Peace

2005-11-29T11:06:00.000-08:00

We all want a little more peace in our lives.
Its hard when the world tells you to go and do and
say yes to everything. Say yes to success, say yes to
security, say yes to pleasure ect, ect.
Peace is especially hard in the morning, my mind is
programmed to always have a task at hand. It is kind
of irritating. What happened to slowly waking up, enjoying
my mornings, seeking god in the morning without the distractions
of what I have to get done? I know those days will come again.
Actually this morning was a step in the right direction. I had to
battle the anxious thoughts of things do accomplish. But I know
I can get there again, it has been done before.

We need each other

2005-11-08T06:26:00.000-08:00

The past couple days i have been hearing that We Need people. We especially as other Christians need support. The moment we take ourselves out of support we end up having a hell of a time. I have been experiencing this time and as of this weekend I decided that I am going to get back to being connected. Even if people don't take the first step, I am going to make the first step. No more waiting, it is far to important. ("A little funny random thing"-I typed far in that last sentence and it came out spelled like "fart", I chuckled, I like when I laugh at things like that:P) Not only that, I know God wants to bless more people through me, If I look at it from a self perspective then it is entirely that, selfish. And when you are there it is so much easier to not do anything and get down. I had a chance to do things on Sunday and Monday night, it felt good to be a part of old friends and new friends again.
Spiritually I have been challenged to love God with my whole heart
and to me that means doing away with all of the loves of this world.
I get so excited to serve and love Jesus, but at the same time it is so hard
because of being used to serving and loving the world.
Lord break me free.

Just about done "new season"

2005-10-30T14:22:00.000-08:00

So I have a little over a month before I am finished with my Bachelors Degree. I am so excited!! That leads me to the question of.. What now?!! I have been worrying (bad choice) and also have been praying that God would again guide me in this next season of my life. All I know is that I want to pursue more music, give more of my time to the college/career group, so that God can use me through it more. I also am excitedly waiting to start making a living. I have been blessed with amazing parents who love me so much. I am so greatful for their support. I am almost in tears for how much they have sacrificed for me. I hope I am just like them, to my kids if I have any, and also to those that I love and serve. I stopped VLI for a while, there are so many things that God wants me to take care of. I am still praying for all of the guys who are continuing. Love you. Keep going.
Luke-Things are going. It has been a little tough lately but that is due to the new season. The enemy is trying to destroy my walk with God so that whatever God has next in store from me will not happen. Keep praying for that fight.

My dads surgery was successful and him being home has been the best thing for him and our family. God is revealing so much to him and is using him as wisdom for me and my family. I am especially greatful because I really need God's wisdom and I know that God will speak through him during this time. And he already has. My dad is so brilliant, I had no idea he was that smart and was blessed with so much wisdom. He is still in pain but recovering nicely.

My graduation is December 15th which is a thursday!! I think Jon F. is graduating at that date too!!! who hoo!!!

None

2005-08-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

I am blown away at how God takes care of us. I have been longing for a closer relationship with my Dad. What happens today? I was able to talk and pray with him for about an hour. I know that I need to seek our time together more. I found out that he receives the best through works, that is how his dad received love. It is kind of contrary to the message of grace, however there still is room to show him love that way. So today I blessed him by helping with the living room and the kitchen. We are getting ready to paint, and the place needed objects moved, the whole place needed to be dusted, the walls washed and the floor dust free. (mind you that our tile is taken out, causing more dust. It also brought my brother and I closer together today too which is not very surprising. I had a good time cleaning with him. After cleaning up, friends of ours show up with my sister and end up hanging out with us until I went to work.
I just wanted to thank you God for taking care of me.
I ask that you would continue to mold me into the man you want me to be.
Guide my dad and I's relationship together and with you. I pray for strength
for both of us and more of an ability to hear you, and especially to trust you.

I also want to pray for the ministries going on in the church, draw your people closer to you, bring a freshness of your word and your spirit into our lives. Help us to be kingdom seekers here on this earth. I pray for more of an intimacy to emerge in your people, and not just in our church, in our nation and worldwide. Wake us up father, change our hearts, help us turn from our own selfish desires and seek your guidance and direction. So that others might know and experience you more.
Specifically be with the college group and the married groups, I ask for deeper relationships with each other and you. Give us more compassion, love, time for you and for one another. Breed a generation of worshipers, a generation that genuinely seeks your face and that is powerfully guided by your spirit. Help us to rock our world, especially us who are young and full of zeal. Bring more zeal if not there, help us experience you Father. I pray that you would saturate our meetings, that your presence would guide us every step of the way, and that you would be effective through us. Bring your glory Lord, saturate us.
let it be.
Amen

2005-08-09T22:29:00.000-07:00

I thought this was kind of artsy.

Just about to go to work

2005-08-09T15:56:00.000-07:00

Just finished shopping for some t-shirts and to find the style of t's I want I have to fork over 60 bucks for them. ???? After something like that is done I have an empty feeling inside. Is that the way I want to live? Live for the next fad. And throw my money away for things like that? I don't think so, God has so much more for me. I like to dress up and look decent.
Father,

I ask that you would fill me up with your presence prior to my class at work.
I pray that I would be able to impact these 4 teens the next 6 weeks.
Bring peace and joy right now.
Take away my emptiness, refresh me father.

I love you so much and I praise you and all that you are.
You have provided so much and you have chosen to use somebody like me.
Thank you for including me and constantly challenging me.

I pray for all that I am involved with, guide and direct them. Bless them. Discipline them so that they are drawn closer to you.
let your will be done in our lives father,
bring us closer to you.

Amen

The Joy of play

2005-07-23T17:10:00.000-07:00

Today so far has been very fun and interesting. We had our weekend intensive today which consists of 8 + hours of lecture time. We were going over "systematic theology." But I will be honest, I could not focus for the life of me. First of all I was starting off with 5 hours of sleep, and second we started at 7am. For the entire 8 hours I was in and out of the lecture, I did learn some great things but I will have to go back and listen more closly at a later date. Anyway, I had a great time just playing in between my focused times. This was the first saturday that I could not just sit down, I felt so restless. So here is what I will call my "fun list".
This is what I did. (Mind that Robert was in on most of these)
-Pool, good old nine ball
-playing the guitar (only during breaks, so it really doesn't count)
-rolling around in the gym on a skateboard while shooting baskets
-rolling on the skateboard on my stomach while Robert tried to hit me with dodge balls.
-laughing at all of the goofy things Robert was doing

It was a good time

Wednesday night prayer

2005-07-06T21:49:00.000-07:00

I really enjoyed prayer tonight. We are getting together to pray for the college group, people involved in our lives and whatever else God places in our hearts. The biggest theme right now is again improving our relationship with God through his Spirit, so saying yes to His ways and no to the ways of this world. And it is really hard in our society to say no to the pleasures of the world. But I know it is possible to not be distracted and engage in communion with the Father through Jesus.
We had a chance to pray for somebody tonight who God really touched and it was neat to practice being guided by His spirit. It was an all over enjoyable night. This is why it is important to connect with some body of believers more than 1 a week. We need each other.

Good old Friday night

2005-07-02T00:12:00.000-07:00

Tonight once again went really well. God is really stirring us up as a group. Tonight we went over Acts 3, and the call to a deeper relationship keeps occuring. And the desire to do the works that Jesus did is increasing. To anyone who reads this, Christian or not, Christ can give us so much more than we could ever imagine, God can use us like we have never been used (for his Glory) and to defend God, Using us is a good thing because we are taken care of to the max when God uses us. For example like in tonights teaching. The healing of the Cripple at the Gate called beautiful in the Temple at Jerusalem. Peter was used to command the cripple to walk, and the cripple was used as a demonstration of Lords power. So in the cripple's case being used means becoming completely well again. That is not a bad deal.
Hearts were stirred tonight and that seems to be the theme these past several weeks, Lord I pray that this stirring will increase like wildfire. I pray that more people would get to know you for who you are and not just for who we say you are.
continue to do the things that you are going to do in our group. Continue to change us.

The world of Theology

2005-06-29T17:41:00.000-07:00

How head spinning is reading some theology of the bible. I recently bought a commentary on the Acts by F.F. Bruce and right away he starts talking about all of the possible theories certain passages of scripture could have. These certain passages are those that nobody will ever truely know. For example, the question of who Theophilus was in Acts chapter one. There are 4 to 5 theories on what Luke was thinking. Was Theophilus a real person?, Bruce is leaning towards yes, Luke did know Theophilus and was dedicating this book to him. And I can go on, but it gets me dizzy. Know I know what God meant by the wisdom of this world, is that really necessary? In my opinion trying to argue an opinion that cannot be considered truth is not what I want to spend most of my time on like so many theologeans have done. I want to be able to balance the development of wisdom through study, but still be mainly conscered with the love and outpouirng of the love of Jesus. And that I am able to do tonight. Studying trying to delelop more of an understanding of gods kingdom and putting it into practice, which is what will be done tonight when we meet for prayer and worship here at my house. Lord let your will be done tonight. By the way, things are going really well.

More pondering

2005-06-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

The continuation of the start of another week and let me tell you it is difficult to discipline you to time with the Lord when you are tired. Coming off of a weekend of staying up really late has its toll on you the next week. A lot of blessings. Friday night college/career group went beautifully. We are focusing on prayer, and waiting on gods spirit to back up the activities of our group and let me tell you God showed up on Friday night. It was an experience that I have missed. It was great to worship God through song and prayer.
This week trying to commit to sitting before the Lord has been good but difficult. The hardest today. The distraction. The t.v. There were a lot of sporting events today and I think I watched most of every single one. It was a nice break, because I didn't have to work much today but i think it was too much. Spiritually I think my connection with God suffered. But God is still inspiring me to press on and seek him. Tommorrow will be a better day. I am going to say no to as much t.v tomorrow. Excited for this coming friday when the married group and the college/carrer group meet. We are going to have pizza and enjoy the fellowship amongst one another. Looking forward to it. Be praying for that event. I think it is going to be powerful.
Things I am hoping that God will continue to do in me.

-change my habits (discipline)prayer, time, positive activities vs negative activities (example, which is the biggest one-too much t.v)
"I think as of now, I have too much time on my hands. But that will change come next week"
-continue to breath his spirit on me (only through prayer, devotion, time)
-Help me to lead the college/career group (in spirit and in truth)

Things to pray for

-Group and our prayer/devotion time with God, worship time. I am praying like with myself, that we can say no to the things that prevent us from seeking him (t.v) and just seek him. With our whole hearts.
-For people to interact with our group. Relationships built, Jesus shared, and people connecting with our group, or other church groups that we have connections with. Lord draw people.
-Pray that a bond would happen this friday, and that the enemy would stay out of any feelings of division amongst the college/career group and the married group.
-my personal training hours. (I need more hours of work) not enough clients right now.
-For worship this friday
-for church this sunday(pastors, leaders, people)
Thank you father, I lay all of this before you and trust that you are going to continue to do a work in this areas.

Can it Be?

2005-06-08T09:23:00.000-07:00

Can today be another great day?
If I start it and end it with God it most definately can. I have been getting busier and busier lately with Job picking up thankfully, 4 possible new personal training clients. I have been praying for my personal training to be blessed and so far it has to the fullest. Thank you Jesus. The college group just starting up, very exciting. Yesterday while spending time with God, he changed the direction on me. We are going to be eventually staring in Acts as oppossed to Corinthians. There were several reasons which I will eventually explain. If not on the blog, I will verbally to someone. But with that direction, it matches the communication of the vision better and that in itself puts me at peace because it will allow me to teach better.
I am also trying the popular body for life workout with meal plan included to see if the 6 set, upper body, lower body, and cardio routine will actually get my body bigger and more cut. Before my freshman year of college, I was doing a 10 to 12 set routine that put my body weight up to almost 180 lbs. Right now I weigh 165lbs.
I will let you know how it goes. It is for 12 weeks.

Prayers for today
-keep motivated
-continue to include God
-for the college group and married group
-for the vineyard church
-for the global church
-for work
-for the unity of the college group ministries
-church leaders
-family
-friends

what, a day to be lazy?

2005-05-24T11:10:00.000-07:00

Today has been one of those days so far, one that I am actually having time to be be lazy. I always feel guilty when these days happen. It is almost like I am not allowed to have a lazy day. So when I woke up this morning instead of starting my day like I usually do with a list of things to do I just watched Blue Crush on USA. It was a pretty good movie, when it came out I did not want to see it, but it was alright. So after that I slowly got ready to start my day. Meeting with Ben today at starbucks, always enjoy our times together.
Got to go.

Fairly successful day

2005-05-19T22:09:00.000-07:00

Today was productive. Went to our thursday morning prayer with other college group leaders/pastors. God spoke through everyones prayers an encouragement of love amongst believers. Was able to meet Rob, and Ryan who are two other awesome college group leaders, great opportunities for more mentors. When I got home I had a great avocado omlete and vacuumed/dusted shelves, shutters. In preparation for my sisters grad party saturday. After cleaning, I dug right into studying. That is one thing I have been able to discipline myself more in is getting my studying done. In VLI, we read a ton. I got a tremendous amount out of it. We are reading in 1 Chronicles right now and what really got me was the part when David prays for his people and prays for Solomon his son who will be the King during the rebuilding of God's temple. At least I think that is accurate. Yes even myself can get mixed up in my history. His prayer encouraged me as a leader to impart and bless others for gods work, or completion of work. I so desire to see more leaders emerge and to be able to bless them in their service to the Lord. Specifically for our college group. Lord let it be. After reading a good amount, I quickly got ready for work.
Teaching my teens for my resistance training class is so much fun. Currently I have three athletes who are taking my class. Today was only the second day, and the ease of teaching them is so great. I can't wait to equip them more so that they can become better athletes. And the three guys are so cool. Two of them are christian (I found out about that because, in my introduction of myself I couldn't help speak about who I am), and they said with a smile "so are we". All three of them are just so respectful and fun to be around. And I have only been around them 2 hours. The best of all is that they are interested. They are interested in all I have to say. The influence is amazing. I love it.
And to end it all, I am relaxing which is well deserved after all that was accomplished today. Thank you Lord for motivation

Morning Devotion

2005-05-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

Wow, that was a much needed time. It has been a while since I have been able to sit before God without a bible in my hands and just listen. I took a walk to our neighborhood park and sat in the grass under one of the trees. This is what I heard this morning...
Do you see all the different shades of green?, I did that. Do you feel the coolness of the wind on your face?, that is me. Do you hear the birds all around?, that is my song for you. Do you smell the sweat aroma all around?, that is what I smell like.

I was in awe, that was just a wonderful, peaceful, enjoyable time. Again like I said it has been a while since I have been able to enjoy God and his presence. I still am on a peace high, and that is my prayer is that I would experience his peace more. It sounds so simple but it is so true. I didn't take my own thoughts into my devotion I let God bring peace to my mind and let him drive my thoughts. It was beautiful.

Thank you father for a wonderful morning.

Late Night thoughts

2005-05-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

It is funny how God calls us to certain tasks that seem out of our league. To be a servant in leadership is a task that seems exciting but at the same time frightening. Knowing that God will help, but at the same time having only the slightest idea. Feelings of inadequacy like that of Moses. He could not speak very well in front of people. I too sometimes feel unable to speak in front of people. All of my life I have been very reserved, not very outspoken, loud, or one screaming for the needed attention. I look at other teachers and leaders and I see them bold, stoic, confident, well spoken, powerful, passionate. I want to be able to do that. Moses was able to do that, Why? Because he relied on the one who could transform his personality at least temporarily. Is it only a temporary change?, possibly, but all I know is that I desire that change. I want to be free to enjoy serving as a leader, I want to speak confidently, boldly, with power.
I also want to see others following in the same path. We need more outspoken, loving, passionate, non compromising, confident, powerful Christians that are willing to lay their whole life down to follow Christ.
Lord let your will be done.

Frustrating

2005-05-05T22:23:00.000-07:00

Today was the most frustrating day I have ever experienced. I have been dealing with a very hard weekend and beginning of the week and then to top it off today happens. I did not get any studying in and I am feeling a little behind. With a little stress, I go to work and find out that 3 of my hours have been cut. It is just so frustrating that for all that I give over at work and how it is just so easy to cut hours just because of budget. I still have a lump in my throat. But that is not what has been topping me off. I once again have just had a hard week. I am tired. Ready for a change. School, VLI, Work, pressures of leading the college group, the previous three have been a long road. All very demanding. It doesn't help when I am not connecting with God very well. I am running short on patience, love, giving. I have been noticing all of the negative things as well. I thought I would never say this, but I am sick of always being the one to be nice and ok with things. At least today that is how I am feeling, especially after today. I am tired of saying its alright that my hours are cut and it seems like I am taken advantage of, I am tired of saying well God will take care of it, no problem. And yes I know that is a bad attitude and that God is in control, but I can't help how I am feeling. I am running very low. I need some prayer guys, I have big problems too. This is a very hard time. The enemy is trying to hit me at every angle.

So with this guys, please try to love even when you don't feel like it.
be patient when you don't have any at all. Give even when you are tired of giving. please don't let your negative attitudes over take you. When your world feels like its falling apart, don't forget God or else the enemy will take advantage of it.

Things of God

2005-05-03T22:08:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day filled with things of God. This morning I got up at 7 in the morning to meet with Pat from Grace Community Church and discusses things that God has been doing in our lives and pray for each other. It was a neat time together by ASU. After that I went to Jamba juice waiting for a phone call, which would let me know if my dad was done with his dental surgery. This was a nice time to read my book, "Developing a Vision for the ministry in the 21st century." After taking my Dad back home, I was finally able to study more than 2 hours and enjoy it. I finished reading what I needed to read today. It felt so good. With that I went into work with a different attitude. I have been praying for a better attitude at work because it can get boring if you are not looking at it from Gods perspective. So praise God I was able to do that today. My kids were fun today. I was able to teach with excitement. And its funny because the source was all of the good things of God today.
-Lord I pray for our college group, help us deepen our relationship for you so that we might be more effective for you and your kingdom. I ask that we would lay all of our burdens at your feet and let you take complete control of our lives. I pray for strength for those who are weak, I pray for joy for those who are down, I pray for confidence for those who are insecure, I pray for patience for those who are not hearing your direction, I pray for trust and peace for those who are having difficulty, I pray against the lies and tempations, Lord you only give us what we can handle, I pray that we run to you.
I pray for all of the lost in our lives. Soften their hearts and give us the confidence and boldness to be You to them. Lord I ask that there would be a revival in our own hearts. Transform us.

Love you guys

Freedom

2005-05-02T01:00:00.000-07:00

This is a poem that I found by a girl named Sorren... I don't know if she wrote it or if she got it from somebody else. but it spoke to my heart.

I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free-Lighthouse Family

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
I wish I could say all the things that I should say
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear

I wish I could share
All the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars that keep us apart
And I wish you could know how it FEELS to be me
Then you'd see and agree that every man should be free

I wish I could be like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be if I found I could fly
Well I'd soar to the sun and look down at the sea
And I'd sing cos I know how it feels to be free

I wish I knew how it would feel to be free
I wish I could break all the chains holding me
And I wish I could say all the things that I wanna say
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
Say 'em loud say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear

One love one blood
One life you've got to do what you should
One life with each other sisters, brothers
One love but we're not the same
We got to carry each other
Carry each other
One One One One One...

I knew how it would feel to be free
I knew how it would feel to be free

2005-05-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

The Idea

2005-05-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

Drawing copy of Arm

2005-04-23T01:25:00.000-07:00

Crowd

Friday Night

2005-04-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

Group tonight was great. We had a wonderful time of catching up on each others lives and being able to pray for each other. After group we ended up watching a film that was totally worldly but ended up being good. What I got out of it was a very positive message of change, freedom, love and hope. It was neat. What I most enjoyed though was being with everyone. I love you guys so much and I am thankful that you are a part of my life. I pray for a stronger relationship amongst our group and a growth in God that we can not possibly imagine. I pray for strength tomorrow and that you would be able to express the love of our father.

Hospice

2005-04-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

I didn't get a chance to mention how the Hospice went. I went in with the group not knowing what to expect. I thought it was going to be kind of hard especially talking to these people who are dying. What will I say? But these uncertainties the moment we stepped into the facility I felt Gods peace and knew exactly what we were going to do. I brought my guitar and the ladies were ready to paint nails and talk. We were able to bless 5 ladies that night. One lady named Anne, said that she had not talked with somebody like that in 5 years, 'not even to her family' That is totally God. Also I was able to play the guitar for another lady named Barb. She didn't know any of the songs that i was singing but she had a couple tears rolling down her face. It was neat to see Gods presence there. We were able to pray for the majority of them and just be a blessing. And that we were. I know that we too were very much blessed by their presence. That most definately will be something that we can do again. We pray for those ladies for strength, courage, peace, love.
What an experience. Thank you father. keep giving our group more opportunities. Afterwards we went to Applebee's and were able to hang with Luke!! Love you bro.

Psalm 121 in the Morning

2005-04-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD ,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip-
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The LORD watches over you-
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The LORD will keep you from all harm-
he will watch over your life;
8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Wow, this Psalm is very comforting. It is amazing that the God that is the maker of heaven and earth can be the source of our help. It is just mind boggling that He could love us that much. "He will not let our foot slip, He never sleeps." Yes this was at the time of David and Israel at that time but we can use this now. God watched over Israel without sleeping. I could not stay up and watch over someone I really loved. That shows you how amazing our God is. He is our shade and will watch over our life now and forever more. He will keep us from Harm.

Things I am thankful for before I start my day.
-The incomprehensible love of God
-Gods provision and protection
-Gods guidance
-My family. (I had a great time with my Dad yesterday)
-VLI
-ASU *Yes my attitude is doing so much better in this area
-My kids at work-I love impacting their lives
-My New Boss, who is fighting for Christ with me in our facility
-That I am not alone in leadership
-For the pastors, guys from VLI, Dad, Servants helping with the College group

And the list can go on...
Thank you Lord

The Response

2005-04-17T00:23:00.000-07:00

Ok,
There has to be a response to that rediculous blog Gabe just posted. He was right on all the way until the end. Then he started making things up. So you can figure out what was actually made up.
So it is 12:25 now and we are still up. We are in the finals for our indoor soccer league and that takes place next saturday. We will find out the time on friday.
Back to Gabe's blog.....
...
that was pretty freakin funny!!-Even if he did stretch it at the end.
Sometimes we just can't outdo Gabe. He just has a knack for making you
laugh.

That is all from here...unless dina wants to say anything....

...Nope!-From Dina

alrighty then, goodnight

Barbecue night

2005-04-13T22:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight's bbq was amazing. We had some great food, we were very blessed. This is what was on the menu tonight

-steaks, fish, chicken
-bbq'd vegetables with seasoning
-dressed noodles
-multiple drinks
-cookies
-watermelon

Wow! It was great. Thank you everyone for bringing things to share. It was a good time. Tonight was beautiful as well. I love sitting in the back yard just hanging with the ones you love. I also enjoyed talking about enemas!!! Ha ha. This was more than a perfect blessing for finishing my 10 page paper. I am excited that the end is near, School is going a lot better. I am actually enjoying it more. A lot of good things are taking place. Tomorrow I will work on some things at starbucks, looking forward to that. I am currently reading the Case for Faith by Lee Strobel and am receiving some very insightful information about how to be certain of our faith in Christ. Especially for ministry purposes. A lot of good stuff.
Hope everyone has a good night.

Running and Oatmeal

2005-04-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

This morning, I was able to exercise with Dina!! Yay!! We discovered the park North of Germann. That is a place that we will be visiting more often for the college group. Hopefully. Volleyball courts, basketball courts and ramada's. A very nice park. A fourty minute endeavor. Good times. Good job Dina. I am proud of you. See you all on Friday night at Buco de pebie's. Ha ha !!!!

Before dinner, before Group

2005-04-06T17:09:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting before the computer at the island of the kitchen getting ready to eat a delicious meal and before group actually starts. Right now I am thinking about where God is going to take our college/career group. God is bringing a lot of exciting new ideas to mind that I know I have never of thought before. Things like
-going to serve at orphanages, shelter homes, senior homes
-reaching out to the youth at movie theatres, skateparks, parks
-taking our worship and teachings to the world, like coffee shops, parks, and still am praying about more areas.

It is interesting because, some are saying that "it will not have the home feeling" and I was talking with David about a week ago about this very topic and "yes" we need to enjoy and be comfortable when we get together. But this is not the case all the time. As a follower of Jesus Christ we are never going to be completely comfortable. Comfort is not the goal. Living in this world is a discomfort in and of itself, especially if we are allowing ourselves to be set apart. Jesus many times when he was involved in his ministry was not comfortable. He caused stirrings. People became angry even. So there needs to be a balance. A time to come together in the comfort of a "known building" and worship and learn about God, but then a time to "be uncomfortable" by sharing God with the world (however it might look)

However it takes place, I am very excited.
Keep praying, keep being Christ to everyone you meet. Keep seeking the one who gives us everything and is everything. :) Peace with all of you

Another great day

2005-04-04T22:18:00.000-07:00

today was a great day. I actually woke up excited to start my day. God is showing me how to fight the negative thinking when it comes to school. I have battled many negative thoughts today and I have gained victory. I am very excited. It is funny though because I didn't work any on my papers due at ASU. I will most definately do that tomorrow. I am going to get a lot of work done. I will end up going to the Coffee bean and just plugging away. I am looking forward to it. hopefully I will run into some people to talk to.

Things I did today that was great
-met new kids for the begining of a new 6 weeks for my kids fitness class
-Ate really good today (starting to follow food guide pyramid more strictly) "for energy"
-worked out
-had a successful school day (I actually enjoyed it)
-Prepared worship and read the rest of ephesians for wednesday
-did some laundry
-and I am going to go to bed early!!!

Goodnight- Love you

Soccer, Motivation, and God

2005-04-02T22:40:00.000-08:00

So our game went well. Except I was exhausted because we were short a man. I was able to put in 3 goals and have a couple assists. It was an interesting game because my style of play reflected the way I have been this week. "Un motivated". I was so tired mentally and physically the same. I am dealing with crunch time at ASU and I am so tired of the same thing at the University. I am having a hard time just wanting to do my projects. There was one day this past week where God helped me to get a couple hours done. And that is what is going to have to happen. God is the only way I will be able to have the strength to do it. I guess this is a good thing though, because it kinda forces me to rely on God more. But then again I don't know. How much of motivation is ourselves saying ok I am going to conquer this and then allow God to work through that. All I know is that I need God to help me. All I know is that I am in desperate need of a break, or a time of great peace. I am feeling a good amount of stress coming. It is so hard because my heart as of right now is totally on the ministry of God through the college group and at work. School really doesn't fit the picture in my eyes. And I sat down and thought about why I am doing school, and the reason is so that I can one day easily support a family. But beyond that the classes I am taking right now seem rather pointless. They are all upper division electives. I just need God to pull me through. "Lord please help, take my attitude away, and help me see school how you are seeing it."

Earlier today was a good time. Gabe and I were able to help out at "healthy Kids day" at the YMCA today and him and I administered kids fitness tests, and seeing the kids really enjoy that today was a blessing. On top of that before soccer tonight I caught up with the guys from VLI and we all went to the skate park at freestone and gave sodas, water and popsicles to the kids out there. It was neat to see them be so grateful and even have some ask about why we were doing it. I was able to share about Christ to a 12 year old and he told me "Yeah, I read the bible!, You know that story about those two brothers Abel and Abel!" He was awesome. So I shared that we are doing this because that is just what we do, as followers of Jesus we are called to serve one another and share Christ with all those who don't know him. What a blessing that was. I am so motivated to do more of that, I would love to get in the habit of doing something every weekend if I could.
Keep praying for the college group. That all of our hearts would continue to grow in God. Love you all

This is for David

2005-03-25T21:54:00.000-08:00

This is Kinda Ironic. David is missing me posting on my blog. And So it is funny because he is sitting right here with me as I blog after several months. The last post as you can see was the 11th of January and I was "Doing Good". I once again am doing good. Very busy though. Just got done with College group tonight and it went well. In the beginning process of the splitting of the group. But a good split. Not forever forgetting each other. We will be getting together at the end of the month. I keep praying for this group. I don't know exactly what is going to happen but I sense a great thing. Just yesterday We dropped Lizzie off at the airport and I have never experienced a farewell like one with Lizzie. She was so sad to have to go back home. I nearly cried. I know God has a perfect plan for her life. So Lizzie, "may God bless you and protect you and continue to guide you" She was such a blessing from God to come here and share "life" with us. VLI is at break right now and I am very much enjoying it. All of us who are doing the class have sacrificed so much and have worked so hard. We all are doing a great job and getting to know each other better has been a blessing in itself. Looking forward to meeting again. But not as much to these next couple weeks off. I know we need it.
God is continuing to show me things as far as leadership and things he wants me to change. I am in an awesome process of change right now. I really feel his strength. I am very excited to see what else he does. Keep praying that he will keep doing what he needs to do in our lives.

Doing good

2005-01-11T12:40:00.000-08:00

It has been a while since I have written on here. God is doing some awesome things in my life. There has been movement after a long period of staleness. I have another week before things start to get crazy once again. But this time I don't think it will get crazy. There is a sense of peace coming into this next semester. I am excited for what the Lord is going to bring. My co-worker came to church this past sunday and she seemed to like it. I pray that she would either keep coming or that I would be able to minister to her more. Rena who also goes to our church has been talking to "Dina" about church and encouraged her to go. I agreed telling Dina that she should come and she came. It will be interesting to see what God does in her life. There are a group of co-workers to minister to as well. They like to hang out together and I am welcome to their hangouts and I know God wants me to be a witness to them. It is exciting.

Inbetween

2004-12-09T07:45:00.000-08:00

Finished one final and have one more to go today. I am inbetween classes and I do not want to study for the second exam. It is probably because I am thirsty for what brings true life. This is just an eye opener that knowledge and wisdom alone does not bring true satisfaction. There is so much more than that. I am so grateful that I am aware that school alone and the success of school alone cannot satisfy. So with saying that I pray this morning......

....Father,
I thank you for another day, another opportunity to live on this earth. Lord I ask that I don't miss you today. Open my ears and my heart to you. I spend this time before you when I could be mastering my studies. Lord I desire you over everything else. Again, only you can satisfy. I pray that you would fill me with your presence. I want to be more like you. Lord teach me your ways today. Pour out your love and mercy so that I will be able to show the same. Speak to me Lord and guide my path. Bring your joy and peace, even if everything else fails today. Lord I put my trust in you. I ask for your favor in remembering the information that I learned this semester. Thank you for guiding me through an awesome learning experience
Amen

Wonderful Maker

2004-11-18T07:36:00.000-08:00

The Lord is such a wonderful maker, provider, protector, savior and friend. Some of these words were in the last song of last night's worship. It is so exciting to see the youth band musicians growing in their musical capabilities, God used us tremendously last night. I have not felt the spirit of God like that while leading worship in a long time. It was an awesome experience. Kim Gentes has been a blessing from God to help the band out and I see a significant difference. So exciting!!! I am looking forward to what else God is going to do with the worship of the Portal.
"Lord increase the talent and increase your anointing on it". Amen

What its like

2004-11-09T13:35:00.000-08:00

I just thought this was a cool picture. It kind of illustrates how we feel when we are flowing with God.

The start of a new week

2004-10-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

A lot has happened lately. I was overwhelmed with tasks in my life. So overwhelmed that I began to have anxiety attacks. When these attacks took place I knew I was in over my head. The amount of things I needed to do was too much. My chances for ministry started to slip away and it felt like i was loosing a good part of me. Last Thursday I decided to drop one of my ASU classes and it was the best thing I could have ever done. Immediately I felt at peace and coming into the weekend i was free. I could breath again. Had our intensive for the VLI course this weekend, over 12 hours of lecture, Wow!! The guys who went through it with me, good job. :) This weekend was a weekend of rest, and I desperately needed it. It was beautiful. Not a wholesome rest however, Friday while playing our first game of league soccer through grace's college group's team, five minutes into the game i break two bones in my foot. at the time had no idea they were broken, thought it was just a connective tissue tear. So i have had to hobble around now and noticing that it takes me twice as long to do things. It is neat though because I feel an awesome peace from God. I know it is due to the prayers from this past weekend. I am praying that no matter what is thrown in my way that i would be able to hold on to God and trust that he is going to pull me through. This past month was horrible but I have joy because my father helped me and i am starting to experience his peace and joy amist the struggle.

Ok hearing from god once again

2004-10-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, that definately was not fun. The past couple days has been very stressful and I mentioned last that I was thinking about stopping school or at least stopping the amount of classes. After some talking and praying and sleeping, I know I should finish. I know that the past couple days I have been attacked with anxiety. I was being lied to that I cannot handle all that is on my plate. I just need to be ok with being busy and not thinking that it is bad. Deep in my heart I want to give all that I do 100%. I just want to be able to do that for the youth ministry, for my job, for my school, and for my family. Right now what it is going to require is not alot of "me" time. Social outings have to be less than what I want, and I have to accept that my weekends are when I am going to be working "studying" extra hard. So please keep me in your prayers, and pray especially that I keep focused on God and am accepting his peace daily. Right now I am faced with a battle between lies and truth and between turmoil and peace. Pray that I choose to battle with courage. Here is a little side note: that was conformation about my decision by what was commented when the last post came up. thx.

Sometimes I wonder

2004-09-30T13:08:00.000-07:00

When thinking about being foolish for God I have recently been wondering if dropping school would be a really foolish thing. I have enjoyed the information and it has been more than useful in my job however it just seems like I am not suppose to be there. This is something I am going to continue to be praying about. It just doesn't seem like it would be a good thing to do. It would allow me to focus more on the youth ministry and the VLI class, but I just don't know. I will right more later, I have to go to class.

There is hope

2004-09-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

Last night, youth was very encouraging. Encouraging because I could see God moving/speaking in a majority of them. I had the opportunity to pray for one of them last at the end of the night when opportunity for ministry arised. I let God move for a while and asked later what was being felt or why he was up there for prayer. He was saying that he wanted God to "stop the Pain." He felt like he needed to surrender. As he was talking he had tears in his eyes. This was genuine. There is nothing like ministering to this generation. While I was praying, I saw Gods hand all over this individual, a heart like I could not believe. It was amazing. God is on the move.

Reminders of the "true" found joy

2004-09-15T15:19:00.000-07:00

New found joy, that is what it is called when we come to our father God. But lately I have been reminded to come back to this "true joy." Last night there was a teaching at Grace about dying to ourselves daily (coming from 1 Corinthians chapter one about "taking up your cross"). Lately I have been drifting away due to a lack of trust. However it didn't last long. It is amazing when God does not let me drift away too long. This time it was only a couple days and to him I am extremely grateful. I was just feeling distant and my goals kind of were non existence putting me into an apathetic spiritual mentality. However a couple of Christs great paradox's were extremely encouraging and helped me to realize that I need to lose my life, die to myself so that Christ is lifted. Not only will Christ be exalted but I will receive life because, Paul in his letter to the Corinthians reminds us that we have to lose our lives in order to receive "true life." So right now I am asking God to show me what that means in my life. Lord I want to lose my life so that I can gain what you truly desire for me. I have confidence that your plans are best.

The Ultimate Romancer

2004-09-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

Listen to me my child. There is more to this life.
There is more than the countless days of education.
There is more than the drive of a successful life.
There is more than the relationships that are evident in life.
If you can only see that there is so much more.
Listen to me my child, your ears have grown distant to recognizing my voice,
I hear your voice loud and clear, do you hear mine?
Please, be able to still yourself and slow down a bit, I bet you will hear me then.
My child, do you love me? Please, I strongly desire to spend more time with you.
Do you want to spend time with me? Why do you busy yourself so, do you even care?
My child, I love you more than you can ever know, I want to be with you. Just listen to me, take some time.
All of the your cares I have already taken care of, all of your worries I have in my hands.
Remember, I love you and I want to be the most important part of your life.
You are the most important part of mine.

Wow its been a long time since I've been on here

2004-09-09T08:40:00.000-07:00

Life is going good. In the swing of things at ASU. I am taking 14 credit hours and all of my classes are very enjoyable. God is doing some awesome things in my life. Testing my trust, building my confidence and increasing my inner peace. The past couple weeks has been a major test of trust. It has been difficult but at the same time very good. God is slowly equipping me to be thinking with kingdom thoughts as I am at school, meaning that he is starting to guide me in who I need to be reaching out to or serving. It is exciting but at the same time pretty frightening. Frightening because left alone I am not the extrovert. This is one thing you guys could pray for. I strongly desire this because all of my life I have been very much concerned with the approval of others, "God forbid that I be persecuted or rejected!!!" But deep inside I want to develop Christ's character more, and Christ was rejected many times. I look at my life, and I have not been rejected too often. Thinking about you guys. Luke, I am praying for you over there.

Found An Oasis

2004-08-05T00:07:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, thank you for your prayers. I have found an oasis and it is not a mirage!! :) God is faithful and he takes care of his children. It has been a wonderful month.

Stuck in The Desert

2004-07-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

These past several weeks it seems as if I have been wandering in a desert wasteland. Lately I have not been able to spend quality time with God. You can call it a lack of discipline. It is one of those battles where God wants me to step out in faith and trust even if I am not hearing him as often, and at the same time the enemy is there as well trying to tug me in the other direction making me think that my own way is the way and causing me to be more dry. So since God is my water I am running short of it in this journey in the desert. I need to make a decision of who I am going to completely surrender to. I know I need to surrender to God but it seems difficult right now. Lord, I want to serve you and you alone, give me strength to fight the battles of my flesh and of the enemy, but most of all Lord give me discipline.

The Best Use of Life Is Love

2004-07-05T09:51:00.000-07:00

Love should be your top priority primary objective, and greatest ambition. Love is not a good part of your life; it's the most important part. The Bible says, "Let love be your greatest aim." It's not enough to say, "One of the things I want in Life is to be loving," as if it's in your top ten list. Relationships must have priority in your life above everything else.Why? Life without love is really worthless

The Purpose Driven Life

Happy Fourth

2004-07-04T18:09:00.000-07:00

Happy fourth of July. Freedom and independence. These are things that we tend to take advantage of frequently. It was neat to be able to teach the youth about America's freedom and the freedom we receive from Christ today. Often we take advantage of Christ's freedom by continuing to sin. I am so grateful Christ gives the gift of life and I want to learn how to receive Jesus's gift daily. Looking forward to the events later this evening. Have a good one.

Good News

2004-07-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

This just in, (I am done with summer school)! You would
not believe how hard trying to catch up when you are
behind is in a 4 week course. All I know is that so thank-
fully God's hand was right behind me pushing me through.
I learned that nothing is impossible without him, especially
when i think things are more than they are. The reason I
think this experience came about was due to my
prayer of wanting to be free from unwanted anxiety. And great-
fully God is beginning to break me from my lack
of trust in Him in the different areas of my life.
"If you guys were praying for me thanks"
Today is going to be a great day of relaxation and peace,
yay and no "school"!
Love you guys

Reflecting God's Gory

2004-06-17T07:08:00.000-07:00

>The purpose of worship is
to change the face of the
worshiper. That is exactly
what happened to Jesus on
the mountain. Jesus' appearance
was changed: "His face became
bright like the sun" (Matt. 17:2)

2004-06-07T19:08:00.000-07:00

Hello
Wow, this weekend was better than I can explain. Lots to share. Good fishing, caught 4 trout,saw various different animals from a black bear to elk and many others, rested, and spent good time with the majority of my family and the Smiths. Very much a blessing. Schools load is a little less thank God. I didn't realize how much more difficult summer classes were. Wow. Another week to plow through. Tomorrow I am going to be performing one repetition maxs'(strength tests), so I am looking forward to that. I am learning so much. I love my field.
Well got to study.
Have a great night.

2004-06-03T23:45:00.000-07:00

Hello you guys. School has been very busy but I am very greatful for my time off. Thank you guys for your prayers. My prayers are for all of you. Youth groups, leaders ect. I love you guys. If you can remember pray that God would continue to reveal himself to me and that God would continue to change my heart for the better. This weekend is going to be on spent camping at big lake. A little fishing, hiking, eating, praying, worshiping. I am looking forward to it. I will see you all later have a great weekend.

2004-05-26T14:56:00.000-07:00

Hey its been a while. At the moment I am thinking and praying about how tonight is going to go. Ben, Gabe, Adam, James and I are going to be playing 5 Dave Crowder Band songs and I really hope it will be about God. When practicing I was so focused on the music that my mind was drifting away from the praise. But then the thought is "if we are performing for him isn't that worship?" So i am hoping that our performance/worship will be for God and not for those who are going to be there tonight. Lord let it be. Right now I pray for your spirit to reside in all of the musicians hearts. Come and reveal yourself Father to all of us so that we may experience your power and love. I just ask that tonight would be guided by You. Amen. It is neat because Gabe has invited several of his friends and a majority of them are coming. I pray that the people coming will enter in with worshipful hearts, that would just make my night. Just thinking of worshiping up stage and having God's spirit through the youth backing up the worship just would be amazing. Lord let your will be done. Especially if it doesn't happen that way. Despite what happens tonight it was quite an experience putting together these songs and actually be able to play them for the youth. It is going to be fun.

2004-05-21T11:02:00.000-07:00

Lord God continue
to guide and direct
my path, I ask for Your
armour today.Help me to love
unconditionally. Show me
Your example so that I may be
reminded. I ask that You would show me Your
will. Help me to live today putting Yourself
before me.
Amen

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2004-05-20T18:05:00.000-07:00

Here are the senior morning breakfast pictures

2004-05-16T17:27:00.000-07:00

After my lunch and hike back to camp was finished I picked up and headed out. This last picture is me showing that what I just did was a great thing. The reason this was so great is because it caused me to totally rely on God. I was turning to him for protection, guidance, peace and love. This is something I will never forget and I am glad I had an opportunity to do it. Thank you Father.

2004-05-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

Later on hiked a little further down the canyon went swimming spent more time with God and had lunch.

2004-05-16T17:21:00.000-07:00

The next morning spending time with God was amazing.

2004-05-16T17:20:00.000-07:00

This one is of the area i stayed. This area was shown to me in a past trip with Micah and Daniel.

2004-05-16T17:18:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from my one day one night trip to the fish creek canyon, near canyon lake. It was amazing. I had a mini retreat by myself which was an experience in of itself. This picture was the start of my hike 3 miles into the canyon.

2004-05-13T22:42:00.000-07:00

You ever get the feeling like God is going to
start doing a new thing in your life? I am
getting that feeling. There are things that
I know God is wanting me to die to and I have
that feeling that there is going to be
a death. Jesus tells us to deny
ourselves and to die to our
ways. So that his ways
will be lifted up and
exalted. A living
Sacrifice that
is what I
need to
be.

2004-05-12T18:06:00.000-07:00

These are my kids at work. All of them know I love Jesus and a couple of them do as well. So we all encourage and talk about Christ to the rest of the class. They are so much fun. The first thing they wanted to do was show their muscles. Kind of ironic because its not like this is an exercise class.

2004-05-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

Here is my response to all who are encouraging me to blog more. Ladies. :)
So this is my last night of studying until my 3 week break. Yes 3 weeks because I am taking summer classes the first summer session. However the three weeks will be a perfect break. Mother's day was great today, always a lot of good food. Happy mother's day to all who has the babies. If anyone sees this before 10am monday morning, please be praying that I do really well on my last two finals. So far so good with my previous 2, I have straight A's so far. One class however, the final is going to be more difficult. Pray also that I will have more joy. I have been feeling like my life kinda sucks right now. I think it has to do with not eating very well, not exercising as much and spiritually not plugging in as much as have in the past. I feel tired a lot. Well I hope and pray everyone is doing well. Love you guys and appreciate all of you.

2004-05-03T19:50:00.000-07:00

Hello, Change once again